I TOOK THE LEAP YO!

SO. Life is quite crAzee. I finally had the courage to take a leap of faith and quit the wonderful job that I had. I think I shall try for an environment that has a balance of estrogen and testosterone.

An all female workplace sucks major ass.

Its a puzzling situation, kinda like when you're in the restroom and you turn around and see corn but you never ate it.... Same kind of "What the hell?!?" moment. Each female may be cool on an individual basis, but put them together in a work environment and you have a recipe of chaos, backstabbing, gossip and bitchiness. If you could eat that, you'd shit for weeks nonstop. Anyway, enough said, this phase is now behind me and I am turning a new page.

A page of unemployment AHHHH! No, I didn't have another job lined up. Some would call that a bit irresponsible, I call it extra motivation to survive and become creative. But never fear, I shall update you on my quest to rectify my current state of irresponsible-ness.

Hmmmm....exactly how does one figure out what being in love is? How do you figure out who you want to spend the rest of your life with? Does it come by trial and error?

What if you spend your whole life not taking that leap because you over analyze what it's suppose to look or feel like. Or maybe you're just afraid to make a mistake.

Its a blessing and a curse to be more mentally advanced than your age group. In some ways I'm just as lost as a teenager in high school, trying to navigate the waters of love.

Perhaps it just isn't my time yet. And I'll know when it is....I hope.

Eff society and its efffing rules

I am soo fed up with my fucking job. I go way above and beyond and for what? Better pay? Where? Not here. I haven't looked up my ass but I'm pretty sure its not there either.

I feel so constricted by the 9-5 40 hour week. Am I alone? Anyone else out there feel this whole "American Dream" is just a fucking farce? You work hard so you can make more and more money so you can go more and more into debt so you can have more and more nice things JUST to turn around and want more and more nice things so you go to school and spend more and more money so you can make more and more money so you can go more and more into WORSER-ER debt....therefore you become a slave to money because you have nice things but you must pay for them through wasting time at a job you almost hate. A job that you spend 80% of your waking hours at. Woohoo!

The American Dream.

Before you know it, you're old, wrinkly, boobs sagging, penis flaccid, bleary-eyed, barely-hearing old fart who did nothing but work and is still in massive debt. Or perhaps just getting out of it. But by the time you are debt free you can't even jump up and down for joy without breaking your hip.

Say it with me: "FUCK THAT!"

Let's go for the old American Dream, the one our fore-forefathers fought so hard for. The opportunity to discover adventure, prosperity in whichever form we could think. The ability to be free and have individuality but also TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for ourselves and our actions. Let's go back to using our hands to feed ourselves and our brains to work through the day and survive, knowing no one is holding anything over our heads. Lets pursue and live by strong ideals and honor, integrity and love of our fellow man.

And screw that fucking 9-5.

I can feel it. I'm so close to walking away from it and running toward freedom and creative responsibility.

Oh and PS: Fuck middle aged women. So far, they are nothing but bitchy, bossy, ignorant, stuck-up, know-it-all, closed-minded people I know and have worked with. Personal prejudice may apply.

Thank you and goooooood night!!

NUDE N' BOOBIES N' STUFF

Sooooooo I am NERVOUS. Tomorrow is my first almost nude shoot. Well, I'll be nudey and then painted to look like an awesome blue creature from Avatar. It should be rather kewl, but like I said I'M NERVOUS!! I've had 2 kids and this is a big step for me in my bodily confidence.

The body does fascinating things after creating and popping out children. Boobies droop with sadness, hips thrust out in rebellion, thighs spread out like cookie dough on a hot platter....and, of course, tummy likes to giggle and roll while in motion. BUT I am sucking it up and embracing this new alien form.

At least my teeth didn't get fat. :)

Have you ever just stared at someone until they began to squirm? It's kinda fun. Especially if you don't know them. :)

I am off to watch a band play...well it's not just a band, this one has an Orm in it!!! And I shall be handing out business cards to ward advances/flirtatiousness from others. Maybe I'll be invited to "swing" again. Woohoo!!!!!!!!!!!!

No, I didn't take them up on their offer, by the way.

Somebody PLEASE take this Rockstar away from me!! I'm gonna be bouncing off the walls and doing Ninja/Jackie Chan moves if'n I don't set this sh*t down!!

Ahhhhhhh!!!!

Old Candy

I'm sitting here extremely pensive...

As random thoughts are playing tag in my head. Like how I squirted my new car's windshield with tomato juice. Note to self: keep mouth closed when chewing cherry toms!! The driver next to me was crackin up.

It's the little things in life that sometimes amuse me the most.

I saw my food again this morning. That is never fun. Once is great but after that we become mortal enemies....My stomach was dredfully upset at me for abusing it the night before. :(

Okay, so enough with the random events of the day. Back to my pensivity.
I couldn't help but liken how I'm feeling about life to having a massive sweet tooth attack, churning through the cupboards for something to quell it, finding that last morsel of utter goodness, popping it upon my tongue only to have the climax of expectations murdered by the realization that its...

Stale.

What a drop!! I suppose I enjoy setting aside moments to just "feel" life. Don't panic, I'm not getting all mushy and emotional, just merely mentioning from experience that doing such things makes you wiser. It really does.

Until next time,
I shall remain,
Myself.

FLAXSEED

So once upon a time there was this girl (uh, me) who discovered flaxseed. It was said that eating such a thing would help burn belly fat because of it's amazing Omega 3 attributes....

Well Fu*k, I've eaten so much of it, I feel like a bird. At least I'm extremely regular. TMI, I know, but I have to share this experience because of its uniqueness.

Besides, I have to find the humor behind what would seem like torture to obtain a good figure for the line of work I'm chasing after. Modeling that is.

The moral behind this short story: if you want to up your productive trips to the loo, sprinkle 2 Tbsp flaxseed and 1/4 cup raisins on almost every meal you eat. Then keep toilet paper handy for you will need it for just such an emergency.

Catch me on Facebook! Through my website: http://www.carolynmarie85.com

SWEET

So I got my blog set up and this is officially my first post.

My fuzzy sense of humor almost left off at that one sentence but somehow I am spurred onward to fill in something else. . .

Why is my humor fuzzy? you may ask...

Well.........lets just say one glass of wine goes a long way for me. =)

But please check back because I often have an attack of writing about the most random yet amazing crap that you ever did see.